Persuasion, Manipulation, and Seduction

There are three aspects of human communication that are often thought of in the negative sense.  However, this is not always an accurate view of them.  These aspects are persuasion, manipulation, and seduction.  The mere mention of these words causes many to think of the politician who uses deceptive means to promote, the partner in a relationship who manipulates to control, or the rapist who draws a person in through seduction only to reveal violent intentions.  In taking a critical look it becomes clear that these three terms, especially persuasion, are amoral – ethically neutral.  “It all depends on the motives of the tool user – Hitler vs Ghandi, Osama Bin Laden versus Martin Luther King, Jr.”  (Seiter, J.S., Glass, R.H., Perspectives on Persuasion, Social Influence, and Compliance Gaining.  P.6.)  They are all tools and powerful tools to say the least.  But all these methods, persuasion, manipulation, and seduction can be used for positive or negative ends.

     Mirriam-Webster dictionary defines two of these terms in reference to human communication as follows:

Persuade -

1.       To move by argument, entreaty, or espostulation to a belief, postion, or course of action.

2.      To plead with

Manipulate –

      2.b.  to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage.

      3.  to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose.

     “Seducers…use trickery and deceit to achieve their goals”.  (Seiter, J.S., Glass, R.S. p. 6).  Seduction, too can be used for positive ends.  The term seduction is connotative of many negatively manipulative ways.  But think of the wife who lovingly and playfully seduces her husband by wearing lingerie and uses her most charming tactics to lure him to the bedroom.  Yes, this is seductive.  Yes, she is using manipulation and persuasion.  But her goal is to enjoy intimacy with her life partner.  It produces a more healthy happy relationship and, in addition, the one being seduced fully knows that he is being persuaded.  This brings us to  the next point…

     “Persuasion is more ethical when people are made aware they are being influenced.” (Seiter, J.S., Glass, R.S. p.6.).  This is the key.  When one is being persuaded to understand the value of a good education, the value of treating others with fairness and respect, or the value of eating healthy, this is positive.  When it is made clear that the attempt is noble, this is even better.  Most persuasion, manipulation, or seduction that are moral and for a positive end are straight forward.  There need not be hidden facts, twisted ideas, or partial truths.  It is ulikely that the man in the previous example would wonder what was happening or why his wife was acting in that way.  No, he knows exactly what her intentions are and she wants him to have a full understanding of this.  So, persuasion, manipulation, and seduction that are straight forward are moral and ethical.

     There is a dark side to these three terms that we see and experience often.  It is presented to us in crafty ways and many don’t realize it’s deception.  One example of the negative use of persuasion, manipulation, and seduction is in the  field of politics.  “The goal of rhetoric is to

change the target’s mind, to cause the target to see his or her position as incorrect and the speaker’s position as correct.  The goal of manipulation of dimensions is to force the target to

choose among alternatives chosen by the manipulator; that choice puts the manipulator in a position of strategic advantage.”  (Paine.  Persuasion, Manipulation, and Dimensions. P. 38.) 

     Politicians use many tactics to till and fertilize their fields.  They use argumentative behavior “presenting arguments supporting the positions they are advocating, while attempting to refute the position of others.”  (Seiter, J.S., Gass, R.H., p. 114.)  many attack other’s character and use aggressiveness to point out faults.  Fear, deception, and compliance gaining are commonly used.  What is interesting is that although these behaviors are repulsive, they work.  Once the fields have been tilled with deception, fear, and compliance gaining, the “planter” moves in with  aggressiveness that would never have worked had the soil not been prepared.  (This is not to say that all politicians are manipulative in the negative sense.  This example is only being used to show the negative side of   persuasion, manipulation, and seduction.)

     The strongest and most independently thinking audiences are the ones who are aware that they are being influenced and who carefully research what they have heard.  Most rhetoric can be sifted through with careful thought and a bit of research.  Uneducated audiences who don’t read and research on their own are at a disadvantage.  In countries where communication is controlled, the people are even worse off.  They only have limited options.

   

 So, in conclusion, persuasion, manipulation, and seduction can be either positive or negative.  They are amoral tools.  How the tools are used is what makes the difference just as our tongue can be used to curse or bless.  Yet is is a mere tool that on its own has no power to harm or do good.  Much depends on both the person wielding the tool and the audience.  The combination of the two is the recipe that produces a result and the possible results run to both end of the spectrum.

(Seiter, J.S., Gass, R.H., Perspectives on Persuasion, Social Influence, and Compliance Gaining.     

     2004. Pearson Education, Inc. Boston.)   

(Paine, S.C.,  The Journal of Politcs:  Persuasion, Manipulation, and Dimensions.  Vol 51, No. 1                (Feb., 19989), p. 36-49.  Cambridge University Press.  http//:www.jstor.org/stable/2131608.)

The Virtual World of Cultural Communication

     Communication across cultural barriers is a broad subject to delve into.  To do it justice one must consider verbal and nonverbal communication, and all the messages that are given and received in an exchange between individuals.  Proxemics (the study of the use of personal space), kinesics (the study of gestures, body movements, facial expressions, and eye contact) chronemics (the study of how we use our time), paralanguage (nonverbal elements of the voice),  silence, haptics (study of our use of touch to communicate), and even our appearance, are all important aspects. (Jandt. P. 113 – 121.) We use these every day without even thinking.  But there is a new form of communication that has introduced itself to us and that is virtual communication.  It is very similar and yet very different to “real world” communication.  It’s specific use in improving intercultural communication is being tested.    

     If we just take one of the above and talk about the difference in cultures it is amazing.  For instance, Haptics, or the study of our use of touch to communicate, varies greatly.  Some cultures use touch many times an hour in a simple social setting.  Others us it rarely or never.  Those of us in the U.S. only touch a little.  We are neither in the very touchy category of the French or the very untouchable culture of the British.  Age groups also vary with early to mid teens touching the least and preschool and kindergarten age children in the group that touches the most.  (Jandt. P. 120.)  So, depending on age, culture, personality, and life experiences (among many other factors) one might feel comfortable with touching a little or a lot. 

     The same kind of touch can mean different things depending on the person touching or being touched.  Imagine an American woman working as a sous Chef to a male French Chef.  He might think it is perfectly normal in the course of a day to frequently touch her on the hand, shoulder, and even brush against her as he walks past.  In his culture this is normal.  To an American woman, this might very likely be considered sexual harassment.  Neither person has denied their cultural understanding of what is proper.  However, they have come upon a cultural roadblock to effective communication. 

     The virtual world has come upon us.  In the game “Second Life” people create an Avatar that may or may not look like them, and use that character to build a virtual world.  This person can have a home, family, job, recreation, hobbies, and even take vacations in a virtual world.  The different people interacting in this world are from all countries and cultural backgrounds.  They speak different languages and understand the world very differently.  They can be poorer or richer in their virtual world.  They can make themselves look very beautiful and dress how they want to.  Many women walking around in virtual worlds are extremely attractive with flowing hair, long thin legs and tiny waists.  Men are muscular and tall.  They can log onto this world as many or few times a day as they want.  They can live in it continuously if desired.  And when they are done, they can exit out and go back to the real world.  This is extremely enticing to many people and the benefits as well as dangers exist in reality.

     Some types of communication lose many of their barriers in the virtual world.  Non verbal communication is difficult to mimic in the virtual world.  Body language, eye movements, and facial expressions are very limited in the virtual world.  Personal space is not necessarily “felt”.  Vocal expressions are limited, and touch is nonexistent unless one does not need to really feel the touch to experience it.  Some people don’t.  Others would feel empty without real physical touch.  So, communication is extremely limited in the virtual world of Avatars.

     However, the virtual world has the ability to assist communication as it bypasses some forms of communication to enhance others.  Language is not so much a barrier.  Sites such as “Second Life” have handy tools where one can have their message translated so that if a person speaking German wants to communicate with a person speaking French, they need only have the program translate their words .  The other person sees the words in a “chat” in their own language.  This is very beneficial in enhancing cross-cultural communication.  It can be very interesting and informative to communicate like this. 

     Another enhancement to communication in the virtual world is the ability to say what you want and feel without worry of harm.  If the other person takes offense, you can stop communication.  So, those communicating are free to say what they want.  In the experiment Dancing Inc. Television, “Understanding Islam: The Imagination Age”, people are encouraged to express their cultural fears and feelings in an arena that is “safe”.  The results of this are yet to be tallied but it gives those who might live in fear of expressing themselves and avenue to do so.

     Many people have begun cross cultural relationships online, both friendship and romantic. Obviously, there are pitfalls to this.  If a man were to begin a virtual relationship and have another “life” online, he might become disillusioned with his “real” life.  However, virtual realities can be an avenue for those who have extreme barriers like physical handicaps and cultural oppression to express themselves and find greater fulfillment in life.  As with all new advancements, this requires one to be responsible, sensible, and practical in their approach. 

Resources

Jandt, F.E.  An Introduction To Intercultural Communication.  2010.  Sage Publications Inc. Los     

     Angeles.

Creating A Blog

     A blog is short for Web-log.  It “is an easily, frequently and instantly updated website.”  (http://credoreference.com/entry/ultimatebusiness/blogs_and_business_what_you_must_know#1D7F6295A3-1620-49EO-A9CC-F8E58DD491D2.)  They are typically written in an informal voice that seeks to engage the reader.  A blog often contains links, pictures, audio, and video.  Frequent entries can be whatever the author feels pertains to the site.

     There are several types of blogs.  At the most basic level, a blog can be a personal site much like Facebook or MySpace.  But more likely it is a business, career, or hobby enhancing tool.  A business might use a blog to share information within the company or advertise outside it.  Four main reasons for a business blog are to “save time, save money, strengthen consumer relationships, and improe search engine ranking.” (http://credoreference.com/entry/ultimatebusiness/blogs_and_business_what_you_must_know#1D7F6295A3-1620-49EO-A9CC-F8E58DD491D2.)

 All successful organizations must have a well thought out and executed company communication strategy.  A blog can enhance communication within an organization.  Company directors and managers are often working long hours and multitasking.  In the midst of a busy schedule, communication is often secondary.  Yet good communication within a company can increase productivity and promote good relationships.  Posting upcoming customer visits can alert employees so they are ready to introduce themselves and make a good impression for the company.  A blog can be used for internal announcements such as new hires, new projects, employee profiles, company events, and training.  Employees will feel more connected and invested into their company if they are made aware of events, customer information, and trends in the company.

     New avenues of communication have sprouted and grown all around us.  Businesses are becoming more and more aware of the opportunities they have to promote themselves to the public.  Corporate Communication “involves getting a company’s message out to its stakeholders – such as employees, investors, customers, the media and public- in a variety of formats, from its website and social media presence to investor presentations and advertising.”  (www.ehow.com/how_4889451_define_corporate_communications.html.) 

     Public Relations Specialists can use a blog to enhance a company’s crisis management, public affairs, strategic planning, media relations, employee and community relations, publicity, advertising, media production, fund raising, government relations, issues management, environmental affairs, and investor relations.

Leadership can use a blog to communicate their vision and thoughts to the public. ”Customers, shareholders, and media get to experience a company’s top brass in their own voices and on their own terms.”  (http://credoreference.com/entry/ultimatebusiness/blogs_and_business_what_you_must_know#1D7F6295A3-1620-49EP-A9CC-F8E58DD491D2.) 

     A blog can be created simply by finding a host site and creating an account.  After creation you can customize your blog using templates.  You begin with a name or title for your blog.    The author can post a picture and create a profile.  In the case of a business blog, a picture of the location and some key facts about the company help the reader to know who you are.  The presentation catches a reader’s eye.  Most people will decide whether to continue to read on within the first few sentences.  Knowing the demographics of your audience will help you create a site that is useful and interesting.  Keep your text informative, pertinent, and to the point.  Put yourself in the reader’s shoes and try to see your site from their perspective.  They want to know what is in it for them.

     The following are examples of blogs created by college students in a communications class.  After each link I have added my own comments.

http://jodilovescommunicaion.blogspot.com

     The introduction is very friendly and inviting.  The colors and style are friendly.  Since this is a well written blog, I would begin to work on making it more interesting to the audience.  Your tone and expression communicate messages as much as the content.  Make your reader want to read on and come back for more another day.

http://www.sheila-doyle-communication-matters.blogspot.com

     Entering this site was pleasant and refreshing.  I liked the seasonal theme.  As I read on I felt like you were talking to me personally.  I could gather bits of your personality and passion.  This blog was my favorite – classy and with a friendly tone.  Nice job.

http://www.antwainwilliams7.blogspot.com/

     I liked the masculine look of your blog.  The black also gave it a professional tone.  I would have made the text a bit lighter since the grey was hard to read.  White would class it up.  Blue might give it a responsible feel.  The use of color is important.  

 Good writing is all about what you feed your audience.  I would say that your writing is well researched and has all the right ingredients.  But it lacks the extra spice to make the tastebuds water for more.

http://www.Lisascontemplations.blogspot.comt

     Seeing other’s blogs has helped me to refine my own.  At first I thought mine was great.  Then as I read feedback and viewed other’s blogs, I thought mine was below the bar.  After working and thinking and letting my creative mind loose, I am gradually forming a better blog. I have changed the colors and added "Gadgets".  Ther are more articles to read and more about me as a person.  I realize the importance in letting the reader know who I am and not just by my writing.  People want to know the person who is communicating with them.  It is nowhere near where I am pleased with it yet.  But I am enjoying working on it.

References

http://credoreference.com/entry/ultimatebusiness/bloggs_and_business_what_you_must_know#11D7F6295A3-1620-49E0-A9CC-F8E5DD491D2.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4889451_define=corporate-communications.html.

    

Confronting An Employee

For an assignment in COM 480 I was asked to write a 1,000 word essay describing how I would handle the following situation.  I am a manager for a Computer Services company and one employee is receiving complaints from customers as well as co workers that he is not performing his job well and is confrontational.  It is beginning to cause a negative atmosphere in the workplace.  My job is to confront this employee.  Here is how I would handle it:

I will call this employee “Chris”. 

“You are more likely to have satisfactory outcomes when you think about a conflict ahead of time instead of going into it without thinking.”  (Cahn, D.D. & Abigail, R.A. Managing Conflict Through Communication. P. 71.)  Before I called the employee into my office, I would interview several of Chris’s co-workers.  During the interviews I would ask them to cite specific examples and I would document these discussions.  I would also have to be careful to do this in a way that didn’t appear as though I were looking for issues or that I was against Chris. 

Next I would create a profile of Chris listing both strengths and weaknesses.  This would be for my own personal use and not for other employees to know about.  I would anticipate responses based on personality type and experience with him.  Since I already know that he has displayed confrontational behavior I would be prepared for him to be as such when I confront him.  I would also “center” myself, make a decision to remain calm and stick to facts.

I would like to present this to Chris in a way that gives him an opportunity to come up with some ideas of how he could be a better employee.  I would also make a point of listening to his point of view without interrupting.  “Listening… is characterized by openness to the other person’s views, willingness to suspend judgement during the discussion, and patience to hear the other out.”  (Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. Managing Conflict Through Communication. P. 73.)  I think that during this stage I could build some trust and respect with Chris.  “People who feel listened to are less likely to feel attacked.”  ( Cahn & Abigail. P.74.) 

It is impossible to completely predict the situation.  Here is a list of my goals and ideas in approaching this situation.

1.       Think and analyze

2.      Gather information about the situation

3.      Know my place as leader and stay centered

4.      Be prepared for defensiveness

5.      Begin by telling Chris his strengths and then present the issues

6.      Listen to him tell his side

7.      Tell Chris how his behavior affects others, me, and the company

8.      Tell him what I want specifically from him without using threatening words

9.      Ask Chris if he has any ideas how this could be resolved

It is my job to confront Chris with these issues in a mature and together way.  His response is up to him.  He will have to live with the consequences either way.  I am going to listen and give him an opportunity to come up with ideas for change.  His response will determine whether he can continue to work here or not.

Media Options

Social Networking

     Social networking is the “grouping of individuals into specific groups.  Although social networking is possible in person, especially in the workplace, universities, and high school, it is most popular online.”  (retrieved on November 25, 2011 from www.whatissocialnetworkig.com).  Social networking includes cyberchatting,  Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs, MySpace, FriendWise, FriendFinder, Yahoo!360, Orkut, Classmates, e-mail and more.  These are ways for people to use technology such as a phone, or computer to interact.  Some communication such as chatting is live.  People from different parts of the world can type messages to each other instantly as if they were in the same physical room talking.  This type of media appeals to those in the business world, online dating, young people who like to communicate this way, and just about anyone who has the technology has used one of these types of social networking. 

     One of the newest types of social networking is online gaming and interactive gaming.  People can play games in virtual worlds where they create an avatar for themselves.  These avatars can be created to look much like the person or completely different.  People log into these games and create whole virtual worlds with homes, families, jobs, entertainment, and more.  They can go to clubs dancing or to church.  Some say that these virtual worlds are dangerous because they are an escape from reality and could detract people from the real world they live in.  Others say they could be a benefit to physically handicapped people or those who are unable to have a fulfilling social life. 

     There are some things to be aware of with social networking.  There is always the chance of data theft and computer viruses.  Good virus scans can help with this.  But, the greatest concern with social networking is online predators.  There are those who misuse social networks to get contact information, meet someone in person, and harm them.  It is important for one to be watchful of this.  Overall, social networking is very safe as long as those involved are careful.

Personal Computers

In 1955 there were only 250 personal computers in use throughout the world.  By 1980 there were over one million and that number rose to 30 million by the mid 1980’s.  By replacing transistors with a tiny microchip, computers became smaller and more affordable for the everyday person.  So when Apple created the first home use computer in 1977, it began it’s journey into the homes of anyone who had the ability to buy and use one.  (retrieved on November 25 from:  www.historylearningsite.co.uk/personal-computer.htm)

     Today just about everyone is the developed parts of the world has a computer.  Some are stand alone upright versions and others are mobile such as laptops and notebooks.  They come in many different styles and sizes. The prices range from $100 to over $1,000. 

      The audience for these is quite universal.  They are used for typing documents, e-mailing, social media, gaming, online classrooms, dating sites, online shopping, research, excel spread sheets and all the things that can be done with those for personal and work needs, financial management, watching movies, reading news headlines, checking the weather in any part of the world, and so much more. 

     PC's have literally put the world at our fingertips. 

Print Media

     The two biggest types of print media are magazines and newspapers.  Newspapers have a quick turn around and are useful for finding daily information for sports and market conditions.  They include a variety of topics as well as local information.  The audience can go back and reread articles.  Newspapers are printed mostly on cheap paper in black and white but occasionally include other colors.

     Newspapers are geared more for local or regional areas and include information specific to those.  However there are some larger newspapers that do not address local issues at all unless they are of interest to a larger geographical audience.

     Magazines center around a specific category like cooking, gardening, hunting, or sports. All the articles in the magazine fall under one overall category indicated by the title.  The audience is specific to the category.  These are printed on high quality colored paper and can also be reread.  However they don't come out every day.  They are usually monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly. 

     Many newspapers and magazines are also available online.  Sometimes just a few of the articles are available online and you have to buy the edition in order to read additional articles that are not posted online. 

Radio

Radio has been around for decades and is still going strong.  Commercial radio broadcasting began in 1920.  It began to open up the world to everyone.  Because of it Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s speech on the day Pearl Harbor was bombed was heard around the country.  Now  people listen to it at home, in their cars and at work.  It is on their i pods, computers and other devices all throughout the day.  It includes music and news that is local, regional, and national.  Much variety is included.  It is a great way for businesses to advertise.  Radio has had great staying power for many years.  It can reach just about any audience.  I recently heard about a radio station that broadcasts in Alaska and reaches people who don’t have access to any other type of media.  Many of them use this station as their only source of world news, entertainment, and local events.  So, radio has the ability to reach audiences who have no other source of media. 

 

Hero

On a frigid winter day in November, 2006 I stood on a tarmac. About 50 family members and friends stood in somber, silent groups. Two perfect rows of soldiers were lined up in front of me.  I noticed a female soldier, wearing a tan-grey skirt was shaking from the cold. Another group of soldiers moved the flag draped casket holding my brother from the airplane to the hearse. Stepping closer to my mother, I slipped my arm through hers to remind her I was there and glanced over at two blond haired children whose watery blue eyes were now our lingering reflection of their father. My emotions welled up within me and all I wanted to do was run up to the casket and throw myself on it. How I longed to be as close to him as I could get!  My goodness!  How I love him!   Instead I pulled my scarf up to wipe tears and could do nothing but watch as he was loaded into the hearse and the doors were shut.

As we drove along in the procession, I was amazed to see hundreds of people lining the streets and holding American flags. I remember thinking, "Jim would never believe this!" He was the last person to think he was something special. In fact, most of the time he felt inadequate.

In the weeks after the funeral my family was blessed to receive many letters, phone calls, and e-mails from people telling us of things Jim had done for them. A lady he worked with explained how she had been going through a hard time. Her husband was in Iraq while she was home with four children and under incredible stress. When Jim found out he recruited a friend, went to Home Depot to buy supplies, and spent the next couple weeks building a rec room in her basement. It was all at his own expense. Any time my mother needed anything, he would jump to her aid. Once with my children and his, he built a snow fort, ran an extension cord to it, and strung Christmas lights in it. He spent the last week home before he left for Iraq at my house helping us put a new roof on our garage. When I told him he didn't have to spend his last week working at my house, he said, "Lis, this is where I want to be today." End of subject.  And how many people can remember how he would never pay them a visit empty handed? ... even if it was just a bottle of flavored coffee creamer (Coconut Cream).

After his death, I did a lot of reflecting. Yes, Jim was a hero for taking a bullet to his heart while doing his duty as a soldier and an American.  Yes, he was a hero for his courage and committment.  Yes, his place in history is sealed as a war hero.  I have learned that it is not all the big things that makes one a hero.  It is all the little things we do for people and the way we care for the ones we love. Jim is a hero to my sons because he made a point to pause his life and build snow forts with them.  He made them feel like they were special to him.  ... Someday my family and friends will watch my casket being carried. I want them to have good memories like I have of my brother. And I realize that is completely up to me.

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